You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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