"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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