Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
