I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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