You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I need to calm my uterus...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize