But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
