ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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