We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
