Hey man sorry I got all grabby
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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