Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
