filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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