Sry I called you an 8
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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