oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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