if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
