You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
