oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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