Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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