those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize