So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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