I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
