Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
