Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
