So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
