That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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