Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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