Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
