Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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