I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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