i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
