my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
