It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
