its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
