Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
