another moral hangover. fuck.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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