I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
