Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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