Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
