if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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