This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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