Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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