All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
