So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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