Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
