Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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