I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
