I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
