I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
