OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize