i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
