if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
