question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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