Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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