i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
