Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
