You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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