Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
