Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
