these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
