He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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