You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
