I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
