You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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