Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
